It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize