Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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