did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize