Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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