You're completely useless in the revolution.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
