How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
