i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize