I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
