if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
