I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
