Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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