I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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