You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
did i just pee glitter
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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