he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
