So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize