Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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