Yo dont text me then not text me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
