Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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