Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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