Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
A+ Viking dick
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
