You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
