So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
