So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
