he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
