I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
