I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
