shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
