I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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