when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
