Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
