i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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