i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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