they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
