so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am mentally ready for anal.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
