Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
