There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
