whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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