in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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