he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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