just come out here and I will go home with you...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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