So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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