what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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