Yo dont text me then not text me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
