it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
