I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This baby is an asshole
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
