i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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