Whod you bang
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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