dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
