This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize