so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
