something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize