i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
