I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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