We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
