throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
