It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
