so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
