SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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