i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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