I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
