I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
