it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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