I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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