my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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