Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
