Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
