Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
