She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
