dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
did i walk over a car last night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
