I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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