...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
