Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize