I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
