Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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