Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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